Slam! He snapped his book shut. Stifling a yawn with the back of his hand, he glanced at the tiny clock on his study table, a gift from his sister, which had its greenish-yellowish radium coated hands showing 6:15 p.m.
I can’t continue this…I’ve reached my saturation point…
‘Amma, I’m going for a walk.’
‘Come back before it gets dark.’
Amma, please…’
Moodily, he slipped on a pair of shoes. It was too hot for shoes, but he didn’t mind; they were his favourite pair. He opened the gate and walked out. The evening blew a gentle breeze and he slowly ran a hand through his hair, enjoying the sensation.
Two more to go…
He drew in a deep breath, enjoying the smell of the evening air, and walked along, kicking a stone out of his way and avoiding what looked suspiciously like cow dung.
After it’s over, I will…
‘Kumar’
He wheeled around, snapping out of his reverie. His neighbour Giri clapped a hand on his shoulder as was his habit.
‘So, you’re finally free?’
‘No, not yet…’
‘Ok man; see you, got to go.’
‘Yeah, bye...’
He walked along, disturbed only by the occasional honking of the vehicles and the screeching of their brakes and the continuous hum of people in the streets. He absent-mindedly stared at them, not really taking in anything.
‘Kumar, KUMAR, come here.’
Oh no…
‘Oh, hi aunty.’
‘Come chinna, you poor thing. You have become so thin within the past few weeks, haven’t you?
He grinned, knowing it to be the safest reply to her rhetorical question.
‘So, when do your exams get over?’
‘Next week, aunty.’
Here it comes…
‘Engineering or medical?’
Are there no other professions?
‘Neither. I was thinking of getting a degree in Physics.’
‘In Physics?’
‘Yes, aunty, in Physics.’ What else could I mean?
‘Your marks are not good? What percentage are you expecting in your 12th boards?’
‘No idea. My exams are not yet over.’
She chuckled and said, ‘very smart’ and pinched his cheeks, something he hated.
‘Aunty, I’ll come some other time…’
‘Oh, sure, bye…’
‘Bye’
He had always been an intelligent student; physics being his passion. He hated being the stereotype. Almost all his classmates were becoming engineers or doctors and he had been repeatedly advised by his teachers to reconsider his choice of a career. But he didn’t care. He knew this would be the profession he would be happiest in.
What is the use of taking up something which is not my passion?
He continued his walk, whistling slowly to himself, shuddering to think of being interrogated again. He knew it would happen, as all things do when you are dreading it.
‘Kumar, how were your exams?’
‘What percentage?’
Oh shit. This is too much.
‘I don’t know yet. Exams aren’t over.’
Kamala and Kiran were good friends of his mom and often came over to visit his family.
Cool, Kumar, cool. No need to get worked up.
‘I suppose you will do engineering’, said Kamala.
‘No, no, I always thought he was a doctor in the making’, said Kiran.
That’s it. I can’t take it anymore.
‘I am doing a degree in Physics, will do a Masters in it and may try for a doctorate too’, he said firmly.
‘Physics? Are you sure?
Aaaaaaaargh! What do they mean,’ are you sure’?
‘Yes, quite…’ he said, gritting his teeth.
‘I think you should do engineering. Maybe, you can think of MBA after that?’
Kumar blew his top. ‘Aunty, please. Is there no profession other than engineering or medicine? Am I a successful man only if I’m one of the two?’
He drew in a deep breath to calm himself. ‘Aunty, I’m sorry but this is what I want. I’m sorry if you found me rude.’
‘No, it’s okay’, said Kamala.
‘You know, it’s the examination tension. The world is so competitive nowadays…’
‘Ya, I know. My son in states told me.’
Fuming, Kumar walked on. Without really thinking about it, his legs carried him to his favourite spot from where he could view a glorious sunset. He sat down on a rock.
He watched the red disk dip downwards. Looking at the sun that had illuminated the whole world sink, a wave of despair washed over him.He buried his face in his hands
Is that all I have to do to become successful? An engineer or a doctor? Will I be judged all my life because I am choosing to tread on an unconventional path? How come everyone is so narrow minded? Have all people who dared to break the rules faced a torrent of comments and remarks like I have?
No, it can’t be true. Otherwise, the world would have been filled with engineers and doctors. Who makes these ‘rules’, anyway? Why do we take up a profession after all? For money? Can’t be just that…Someone has to take the first step, someone has to be the pioneer and be ready to be different… I just have to make an indelible mark in the minds of people by excelling as others have before me. Then, there will be little remaining for people to comment about. I know it is not easy as I have to build my own path and not walk on the one millions have treaded before me…
He watched the sun turn bright orange, like the flame which burns brightest just before it gets extinguished, glow for one last moment and slowly sink downwards and disappear, knowing it would usher in a new morning very soon.
‘Kumar?’
‘Hi, what’s it?’
I know what he’s going to say…I bet all my money that he will…
‘When are your results coming?’
Kumar smiled inspite of himself.
‘No, it’s like…’
As Miss Marple would say, ‘Human nature, being what it is…’
8 comments:
this post of yours needs to be seen from two different perspectives.
First as a piece of writing, it is as good as it gets and though there is always a scope of improvemnet, you really need not worry about that. Your style is good.
Second, as a piece of philosophy, there are some problems with it. On one hand you say that Kumar wants to do soemthing different and on the other you make him want to do soemthing that leaves an indelible mark on people's mind.
So, you are also trying for the very same things that the others want, and you cant really blame the society for expecting that from Kumar, which according to them is the easiest way to success.
I mean how many physicists do you know of that have left an indelible mark...and those people were never thinking of leaving a mark...indelible or not.
In this regard this line said by somepne is very apt: "The only problem with the Nobel Prize is that by the time you get it , you dont want it."
I guess I didn't make myself very clear...
My character hates the comments he hears for choosing to be different and thus he has the terrible urge to prove himself. It is not just to please people and make them look up at him but more for his personal satisfaction... (Also, take into account the age of Kumar. He's only about 17 or 18)
Definitely, hardly any physicists I know have left an indelible mark but almost all youngsters who start on research do have great plans about inventing things etc. etc.
But, I agree, there's scope for improvement. Next time I attempt to talk about philosophy, I'll think a bit more...I welcome your criticism...Please tell me if you agree with my above argument or not...Thanks for dropping in...
I read that piece, and now i really dont know what to say....
Your style of writing is definitely good.... And believe me, Im not just saying this to make you happy... I am really choosy about my authors (I hate jeffry archer and also the legendary Dan Brown... Well... Im not exactly comparing you to them, because there is always someone better... (Naipaul is one of the best Ive seen yet..)
You really thought like Kumar (or whatever be his name)... That bit really deserved praise... You wrote of his feelings as one who had lived through all those thoughts yourself.
Im not very much into philosophy... So I dont want to make a fool of myself by discussing that part of your piece of literature
I am not much into literary stuff but you indeed write extremely well...writing has a natural flow.
And I agree with bluepanther.
If one is trying to rebel against the societal norms ad yet wants to meet the benchmarks for success defined by society at a later point if time, then one is not truly being rebellious. The genuiness of Kumar's interest in physics will be proved if he sticks to physics in the face of brutal failure so to speak. If he has to contend with being a B.Sc college lecturer instead of a top-notch researher in NASA.
Right...Point noted.
Hi.
Madhu Anna here,
Just happened to read your blog and the comment posted. I will not repeat what the others have said regrading your writing skills.
Getting straight to the matter, i wonder if the same was actually what you went through yourself and i have this uncanny feeling that it is the case.
Anyway, what i need to tell you is that the protagonist Kumar is metaphorical if i may use the word, of the lot that most of us today and the years gone by face/faced. I do not expect to see a change in the situation in the near future also. To cut a long story short and to put it as it is "The world is just like that". There is no point in taking things like those to heart. People are there to say what we do not want to hear.
The sooner we understand this the better. Further, as far as pursuing your dreams goes, only if people comment about it will youo knkow that it is still a dream. There is a simple logic to what i just said, that being: If people do not comment on what you are doing it menas that it is something that they have done and it thus becomes a past event. A past event can never be subject matter of a dream. It is only because they have never tried to do what you are trying to do that they will comment on it.
Peole never take the trouble of commenting on what they have done for fear that their goofups will become poublic domain.
So what is left for them to comment is on something undone and this is excatly what dreams are made up of.
Before i sign off i would just like to add that todays detractors are tomorrows supporters (If you succeed in realizing your dreams).
The moral of the blog:
Do what you have to do,the detractors who might turn supporters do not matter, it is you who have concieved the dream, it is upto you to relaize it and live it.
really nice. you have brought out the situation almost every youngster is fixed in nowadays...the way you have described the surroundings creates the scene of how the story would look in a movie.
so what DOES happen to his results?? ;)
The thing about good writing is that it should be able to start something - a discussion, a thought process, maybe a revolution. Though I do not agree with the pen being mightier than the sword, yet the pen or the keyboard now, without a shadow of a doubt,is mighty enough.
And society is what makes us. Even if we are a rebel, more often than not, we are rebelling against some or the other norm of the society and not creating something new. Thus society directly or indirectly affects us. It has always been like that, it will always be like that.
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