Tagged... again!

(Tagged by Nishant.)
Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.
This is weird! Anyway, I have been tagged so I comply. A roundish scar on my arm.

Middle of end semester exams. Driving back from the library. Vroooooom. No reaction time. A biker rams into me with full force and sends me down with a sickening sound. Miracle of miracles! I escape with a few scars and minor injuries. He got fractured, though. (Poor guy. Must have spent the entire end sem hols with a cast. Never got to know who he was.)

I had a good excuse to explain my bad marks ;-)

2. What is on the walls in your room?

A beautiful pic of trees in autumn, a pic of a waterfall (I LOVE waterfalls), a huge poster of a Siberian tiger right above my study table and last year’s calendar (Funny that I didn't take it off.)

Oh, also a painting of flowers in a corner and a tiger with two cubs ( I actually made it. It was this kit. Quite unlike me to have the patience to do something like that. (Gosh, I have a lot on my walls.)

I love posters on my walls. They give a nice feel to the room.

3.What does your phone look like?

It’s a Nokia 3230 (Man, its heavy. Wish I’d got a lighter one. Has a decent camera.)

4.What music do you listen to?

Rather sick of music in general (at the moment, that is.)

Sometime back, I used to listen to random songs given by my friends- Linkin Park, Eagles and some Hindi music.

5. What is your current desktop picture?

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

I just wish I knew.

On second thoughts, I think its sleep.

7. Do you believe in gay marriage?

Yes, like Nishant said, why not?

8. What time were you born?

Not very sure. I think I was born in the afternoon.

9. Are your parents still together?

Yup.

10. What are you listening to?

Silence. (Been feeling quite melodramatic off late.)

11. Do you get scared of the dark?

Umm, not unless I’ve just finished watching a horror movie. In that case, I’ll probably run for miles and never look back.

12. The last person to make you cry?

A very good friend.

13. What is your favourite perfume/cologne?

Err, this tag is beginning to irritate me. Who cares? Just as long as you don’t smell like a skunk.

14. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like on the opposite sex?

Dark smiley eyes. (Light eyes make me feel weird. I feel I can see through them or something. Ugh. No offense meant. Just a personal choice.)

Hair? Dark. Dandruff free. And no streaks or funny artificial colouring. Puts me off.

15. Do you like painkillers?

Yeah, especially when it hurts so much that you can’t sleep it’s a lifesaver. (Would anyone say that they don’t like something which lessens pain??)

16. Are you too shy to ask out someone?

Umm, I don’t know. A little, yes. But if I liked him quite a bit and I knew he was stupid enough not to be able to ask me out, I’d probably do it.

17. Fave pizza topping?

Capscicum, onions, lots of cheese, a few pieces of mushrooms and a dash of tomato sauce. Droooool.

18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

Nothing. Just had a good dinner. Can’t think of food on top of it.

19. Who was the last person you made mad?

A very good friend, again.

20. Is anyone in love with you?

No.

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I tag Neelav, Nupur (Oh, Kyra, we miss you) and Blue Panther.

The case of the mysterious white box

I, Jayashree,(read: lazy blogger) have been forced to forget the blogging hiatus I had planned and come up with a new post. (Waiting for the cheers and claps to subside.) I am blessed. God has made things happen which are meant for blogging. Situations stare at me in the face and say, ‘Blog me. I was made for you.’ Now, how can I refuse? I wake up, don my armour, mentally prepare myself and take a deep breath.

I pick up my pen and begin writing.

A brief introduction of the character around which this article is centered: Ms X, my lovely neighbour. My lovely neighbour with an observant eye. My lovely, observant neighbour who gossips and is nosy. My lovely, observant, gossipy, nosy neighbour.
That should set the ground for me to continue.

Well, she isn’t exactly my neighbour. She lives in another row, the one just behind ours. Sometimes I go for a short walk, meet my neighbours, etc. A few days back I passed her house and there she was!

‘What’s up, Jayashree?’
(Bracing myself for an interrogative session.) ‘Um, nothing.’
And yes, she proceeded to ask me a million questions on my actions and movements in the past few days (That is, since the last time I met her. She has to keep updating the database, you see.)

‘Did your whole family go off to sleep that day at 9:30?’
‘Huh? Which day?’
‘I don’t know. (Was amazed to hear that she hadn’t made a written note of the day, time, hour, minute, second and the position of the stars.)
‘Well, I don’t know either.’
(Thought a little. Decided it was probably last Sunday when I’d been ill. Though I have no idea why everyone went off to sleep at 9:30. Told her that. ‘Aah’, she said. One answer got. One missing data no more.

‘Which room do you sleep in?’
‘Huh?’
‘The one near the road?’
(Taken aback.) ‘No’.
‘I heard the fan whirring in your room that evening as I passed by so I knew you were sleeping.’
(Oh, my GOD.)
(Still keeping a straight face and remaining patient.): ‘That wasn’t me.’
‘Oh. I take a round in the evening with my son. I see your mother open the fridge after dinner and keep pickles and stuff. Sometimes you’re in your room, sometimes you’re not.’
‘I saw you walking there the other day. You seemed dressed up to go somewhere.’

(Felt like I was being questioned regarding a crime. ‘I need an alibi. I’m innocent. I’ve done nothing’, my brain told me. Shrugging, I said, ‘Auntie, I’ve to go. Bye.’
‘Will you go back this way or that way?’ (One’s shorter than the other.)
‘Um, that way. (Pointing at the longer one.)
‘Why?’
‘Just like that.’ (Smiled a silly smile. It always helps to give a silly smile. And giggle, if possible. People don’t cross-question you after that. Maybe they’re too afraid you’ll do it again.)

This was a few days back. I came back home, had a good laugh and forgot about it. I wouldn’t have thought about it (her behaviour was nothing unusual for her, honestly) if she hadn’t appeared today. This time she encountered my mom. I was in, listening to music and she and Mom were chatting outside our gate.

‘Who’s that boy in Jayashree’s bedroom?’
Only a silhouette was visible. ‘Oh, that’s Jayashree’, my mom said.
‘That looks like a boy’, she said, probably thinking that my mom had lied and would break down on cross-questioning.
‘That’s her.’
She looked hard and decided to take my mom’s word for it.

‘Why didn’t you have dinner today at 9? You always have dinner at 9, I see you everyday. (We had made the grave mistake of having dinner that day at 9:15, that too, without informing her.)
‘Uh, I don’t know. Didn’t see the time.’
(I’d never observed that we generally have dinner at 9. I suppose everyone wraps his/her work at about 9 and goes for dinner.)

(Now, the award winning question.)

‘What’s that white box you keep in the fridge every night after dinner?’
‘What? Which white box?’
‘The one you keep in every night. Do you keep pickles in it?’
(Mom, totally puzzled): ‘I don’t know.’
(Now sure that my Mom is hiding something and that something sinister is going on.)
‘You know; that white box…’
‘Uh, some food I guess.’
(Giving up.) Oh.

As soon as the conversation was over my mom rushed to the fridge and opened it to find the mysterious box. (Horror music in the background.) There is no white box…

‘Jayashree, come here.’
I walk up to the refrigerator. ‘See? Tell me; which is the white box I keep in every night?’
‘You keep a white box in every night?’
‘I really don’t know. She told me so. She can’t have made a mistake. You think I’ve begun to forget things?’
‘Ha, ha. You know what she’ll tell people?’
‘What?’
‘That she asked you many times what you kept in that white box and you refused to tell her. Oh, ha ha ha.’

Aah, I haven’t laughed that hard for ages. The other day I saw an ad in the newspaper for private detectives. With people like her, who needs them? In fact, I’d recommend her name for a teacher’s post in a training school for detectives. The world needs people like her to ferret out criminals and crimes. We need more people to observe people doing suspicious things everyday, like putting food in the fridge, switching on their fan, etc. Who knows? There might be a terrorist hand behind these seemingly innocent activities. Thanks to people like her, the world is a safer place for us all.

Header image

Liked the header image in this blog? It was custom made to suit it. I love it! Especially, the I in Musings.

You want one too? Don’t worry, I’ll not be mean, I’ll share the secret with you. Click on Free Blog header images, a site which offers header images for free.

I, You, Who?

( Dedicated to my best friend who I (stupidly, sadly, surprisingly) thought I'd lost.)

Walked in peace
All my worries, about to cease
Blissfully happy, oh, unaware…
Walked on, without a care…

Saw colors of every hue,
Red, green and even blue
Rejoiced, smiled, danced and sang,
Bothered not of any snag.

Too good to be true!
Screamed a voice.
To hell with you!
I kicked the noise.

Ah, you do know how it is.
Higher you are, harder you fall.
But never mind, I go on.
Through spring, summer, winter and fall.

(Click to enlarge.)

What UK men want

Of late, newspapers don’t seem to be publishing anything other than bullshit. Sorry for the slang but nothing else describes the scenario better. The worst: a front page photo of the largest democracy’s president on the floor after tripping on someone’s cane. What a shame! Poor Kalam was looking so undignified. The president of our nation certainly deserves more respect than that. Apart from the fact that it was a sheer waste of valuable front page space.

But today’s article in TOI drove me round the bend.

‘UK men want Shilpa types’

It is an obvious result that her win will make Indian or South Asian women very attractive as life partners. Shilpa has demonstrated some amazing qualities such as grace, elegance and poise that make a South Asian woman unique.’

And oh, this was said by a leading international asian matrimonial service.

Who cares if Indian or south asian women become attractive as life partners to UK men? They (we) have our men, thank you. And puhlease, it is a matter of common sense that grace, elegance and poise has absolutely nothing to do with a woman being Indian or not. What rubbish!

“Shilpa only really stressed how well-rooted Indian women are in their culture and hence better at keeping peace and calm.”

Oh, seriously, no comments on this one.

“She has shown Indian women in a very very nice light which will generate a lot of interest in Indian women in the marriage market”

Marriage market? Shame, shame! It’s like saying ‘Oh, now the prices for this commodity will rise and hit the sky’. As it is, Indian marriages are complicated with dowry, casteism, (and heaven knows what else) without educated people joining the bandwagon.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 21^st century with women empowerment, educated people etc. etc.

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The funniest line in that article? ‘British Asian boys, especially, will see how well-rounded Indian women are and will be much more keen to marry someone from back home.’

Ha ha ha ha, oh ha ha ha. My stomach hurts.